The reasons why men pull away can be baffling. One minute everything seems fine, the next he starts seeming withdrawn and doesn't want to talk. Maybe he's begun ignoring your text messages.
You're probably not losing your mind. Men aren't always the most communicative of creatures. Sometimes it's up to you to figure out what is going on. After all, while some of the reasons are harmless, others could spell disaster for your relationship if the problem isn't addressed.
If he is pulling away, here are a few things it might mean.
1. He Doesn't Want Commitment
Although your guy may like you a lot, he may not be ready for a relationship. It isn't necessarily a matter of if you are the right girl. For some guys, there is no right girl. Maybe he is just not ready to settle down with one girl yet. He may be pulling away as he is starting to feel a relationship closing in around him.
If he's not ready, you can't make him ready. If you're okay with being more casual, reassure him this is the case. On the other hand, if you're feeling ready for more and he isn't, it may be time to cut him loose and find someone better.
2. He Needs More Space
It is hard to properly describe how non-verbal guys can be. Sometimes they absolutely need time and space to themselves to decompress. It could be that he just isn't getting that time.
His pulling away could be more about trying to find some alone time than anything wrong with your relationship. If this is the case, making that space for him could help the whole problem go away.
3. He Feels Your Relationship Is Going Too Fast
On the bright side, just because he pulls away and resists getting closer, the problem isn't usually permanent. It may be that he wants your relationship to grow just as much as you do. It could be the speed which is scaring him and making him reflexively pull away.
Talking will help if you can get him to open up. It needs to be handled delicately, because he's not going to want to say anything that might jeopardize what you have now. You just need to let him know you don't think it is a race either and are happy to let things grow naturally with no rush.
4. He's Been Having Trouble in His Life
It could also be that whatever is making him pull back has absolutely nothing to do with you. Guys aren't always verbal and don't like to be seen as complaining. This can backfire when things are actually going wrong for them.
Their failure to communicate can leave you wondering if their withdrawn silence is because of something you personally did. Yet many times it has nothing to do with you. Their personal problems are just making them shut down and withdraw while they try to work through their issues.
Instead of seeing a problem, you can see an opportunity. Helping him solve his issues may provide the perfect opportunity for you to strengthen your bonds as well as teach him to open up and ask for help.
5. He Cannot Figure out How to Solve the Problems in Your Relationship
Your guy may be head over-heels for you, but still struggling with a problem in your relationship. The problem is that he might not want to talk about any issues for fear of upsetting you or driving you away. But he might be having no luck trying to fix whatever the problem is himself.
You'll need to be proactive here and encourage him to talk. It will help to reassure him you won't be angry and want to work with him to help solve the problems together. This approach is solid, because not only will you get a fair chance at helping to fix things, he'll learn the advantages of opening up and communicating with you.
6. He Might Be Seeing Someone Else
As awful as it might be to consider, this is a possibility. You might not want to think about it, but having a cheater is like having a disease – it won't go away if you ignore it, and it will only get worse if you don't fix it immediately.
There are a few examples where this turns out to be good, honestly. Most likely, you'll want to move on if he deals with relationship issues by being unfaithful. It's unfortunate, but the sooner you cut him loose, the sooner you'll be able to find the guy you deserve.
7. He May Be Just Be Processing Something
It's confusing to determine why guys pull away when they like you and, as it turns out, sometimes they aren't even intentionally doing it. Guys can withdraw drastically when they're dealing with a problem. To them, they are just sensibly blocking out everything else because some problem requires their complete attention.
To the girl in their life, though, it can be upsetting or scary. Suddenly, they barely acknowledge you're alive and just nod yes absently whenever you're talking. Just remember – it might not be you at all. In fact, if they're dealing with something that affects you both (maybe he is considering a career change), it could be a sign he actually feels closer to you than you even realize.
See if he can open up a bit with you on whatever is eating at his thoughts all day. Maybe he hasn't considered sharing his problem and you can actually help him.
8. He Doesn't Want to Get Hurt
Love can be scary for men, too. Emotions equate to vulnerability for some men, and they don't consider that a good look. So he might be pulling away if his feelings for you honestly frighten him and he has no way to express it.
You'll have to handle this gently to avoid making matters worse. Try reassuring him that it scares you, too, but you stay because you trust him not to hurt you. If you want trust from someone, often the most direct way is to give it in kind.
9. He's Not Really Into You
Unfortunately, some people were just not made for each other. There is no need to jump to conclusions immediately, but you may have to keep in mind that some people just lose interest in one another over time. It may be that he is retreating because he has decided he is not where he wants to be anymore.
10. He's a Player
The answer to "why is he pulling away", might be because he was never close to begin with. Alas, the world is full of players, and you might have stumbled upon one. This type of man is very good at pretending to be the kind of person you want until they get their way.
Then you'll find them roaming away for their next conquest. If that's the guy you accidentally hooked up with, it's best to just cut your losses quickly and leave him.
Is It a Problem or Not?
Sometimes it's hard to tell why he is pulling away. If your guy suddenly seems to be giving you the silent treatment and acting withdrawn, you might try and just give him some time and space.
A lot of times, things will work themselves out and you needn't be concerned. But if it goes on for longer, it may be something serious you should address.