In a relationship, sex is an important aspect and expression of intimacy. As such, a lack of it can cause your relationship to weaken over time. Another aspect of your sex life, though, is quality. Sometimes it can be useful to stop and consider not just how often you and your guy have sex, but how good it is. Is it novel and exciting? Do you make love with the same passion as when you first started dating?
It can be easy to fall into a routine – that's actually a nice part of being in a relationship. But this isn't always the case in regards to the sex in that relationship. Keeping things fresh and intense can make you both stronger as a couple. Here are a few tips to help get you thinking about how to please your man.
1. Meet His Fantasies
One thing about being in a couple is exclusivity. You have each other all to yourselves. And that's great. However, it does limit what kind of sex you have to what each of you generally finds normal. If you want to create some real excitement, take a step out of your comfort zone.
That isn't to say do anything you're uncomfortable with, but rather try and have some fun and do something you wouldn't normally do.
Since you're doing that now anyways, ask your guy about what fantasies he has that he usually keeps to himself. You can take a walk on the wild side and give him something he's always wanted at the same time. That's a win-win for you both!
2. Find His Erogenous Spots
If you're thinking I want to learn how to keep my husband sexually satisfied, here's a good trick: Find his erogenous spots. Everyone has certain areas on their body that are more erogenous than others. Not only that, but different people have places on their body that particularly turn them on. It's not the same from person to person.
Finding these areas on your man is your task. You'll also need to learn what type of touch he responds to best in those spots. This is well worth the labor when you see the results. You could be playing him like a piano in no time. You'll know the lessons paid off when you start getting breakfast in bed.
3. Take the Initiative
Men love aggressive women. Well, at least, in bed they do. If you want to knock his socks off, take charge in bed. He'll love your intensity. Also, here is a bonus: if you take charge, you can actually do things the way you like to. That's enlightened self-interest at its best.
So let your wildcat out and do things your way tonight. You may find that you both prefer it when you get your way.
4. Dress up for Bed
We all know guys are visual creatures. Make the most of this, and drive him wild. Try out some naughty lingerie on him, and have fun being a vixen for the night. He'll appreciate you looking so sexy for him, and you'll appreciate all the attention he's sure to lavish on you.
Dressing up is also a good way to try some role play. Perhaps your guy has always had one of those secret fantasies about a nurse or a librarian. Why not? Some dress up can be a fun bit of foreplay to get you both more in the mood.
5. Try Different Positions
Trying different positions in bed actually has a lot of benefits. For one, you can find a position where your guy can see you better as they like to look so much. Secondly, you might find positions more comfortable for you and draw things out as you play around trying to find your favorite position.
Perhaps, most importantly, you'll find different positions that will stimulate you better than others. Yeah, you might be focusing on pleasing your guy, but there's no reason you can't work on pleasing yourself, too.
6. Get out of the Bedroom
Changing the environment can add excitement to most activities, and this is very true for sex. Even the illusion of some risk can heighten you and your man's arousal. Make a game out of seeing how many rooms of the house you can fool around in.
Or, if you really want to add a thrill, you might try fooling around somewhere semi-public, like a parking lot at the local park. Just be careful it's a discrete enough place where you won't actually get caught. Remember, you're just looking for the illusion of danger for some extra excitement.
7. Be Sexy
This seems obvious when said out loud, but you may find you don't normally think about it. After you and your guy have been together for a while, you know each other. He's seen your morning hair and those ratty house-sweats you lounge in. So you're probably comfortable enough to just hop in the sack together.
But there's nothing saying you can't be completely different when you're in the mood and under the sheets. Let that inner sex goddess out, and let go of your inhibitions. You'll be pleasantly surprised by how grateful he is.
Just remember that he's with you already, so he clearly thinks you're sexy regardless of what you personally might think. So relish in it and it'll be a treat for him as well.
8. Show Your Desire
When considering how to satisfy a man sexually, one thing to keep in mind is that a lot of his pleasure derives from the feeling that he is satisfying you too. Men like to think of themselves as providers, and providing you with pleasure is no different.
If you want to really turn him on, let him see that he's turning you on. Don't go over the top, as most men will pick up on the fact that you are putting on an act. You don't need to do your best porn star impression. The trick is to be sincere but intense and without inhibitions.
One great thing about this plan is that, if you are expressive when something turns you on, he'll actually learn how to be a better sex partner for you as well. If you really want to get his attention, tell him out loud how excited you are.
9. Learn to Tease
Teasing is an art form, and every artist must practice their craft. So practice teasing your man as much as possible. Don't wait for a bed. The bed is where the teasing stops and the main event starts. Rather, tease him throughout the day.
Sex will be far more intense if it's been on his mind all day long. Sexy texts or a photo in the middle of the workday can set him off daydreaming about getting home all day long. Be creative, and keep him wanting you every moment.
10. Try Having Sex Just for Sex
One of the best things about being in a loving relationship is being able to make love – not just have meaningless sex. That being said, there is still an appeal to crazy, lustful, spontaneous sex, especially for men. Sometimes they actually crave the physical pleasure of just straight-up, animalistic sex.
You can give him that pleasure by encouraging him to let those inner sex drives free for a while. A kitchen table and a little hair-pulling, and you can be assured he'll be looking at you like the most amazing girl in the world. If the sex is wilder than it is sweet, expect he'll shower you with more than enough attention afterward.
Keep the Passion Alive
These are just a few thoughts if you've been thinking I want to learn how to keep my husband sexually satisfied. Just remember that sex is an important part of your relationship. Be as ready to learn and expand your horizons as you would be with any other part of your relationship, like communication skills or developing empathy. It isn't just for fun; it is a tool to bring you closer together.