Have you started to notice a pattern in your relationship where you are always the one giving while your boyfriend is always the one taking? If you feel like your relationship is a one-way street, then it's likely that your partner is a selfish person.
He might have always been this way or he might have become like this because you are the one always willing to do all the giving.
Whatever the reason is, find out if you're just being overly sensitive or if your boyfriend really is a self-centered person.
12 Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Simply Selfish
It could be that you've just fallen into a pattern of you giving and him taking. It might even develop into it because you're a nurturer by nature and you enjoy giving to the ones you love.
The only problem with this is that you've noticed that your boyfriend is never willing to do anything for you. He seems to only think of himself. You are now saying to yourself, "My boyfriend is selfish."
Read the signs below to learn whether you're being dramatic or he's simply a selfish person.
1. He doesn't care about your feelings (or he pretends to do)
Being selfish isn't just about being greedy about flexible things. He is only concerned about his own emotions and has no interest in how you feel about things. He might pretend to care about how you feel, but it's just for show.
It's easier for them to pretend they care than have to deal with you confronting them and accusing them of not. Regardless of this, you can still tell that there is a distinct lack of empathy from him.
2. He is stingy
One of the first things you might have noticed about your boyfriend is he's stingy. At the beginning of your relationship, he may have forced himself to be what he would consider generous. He might have paid for your meal when you went out on dates or perhaps he bought you a gift or two over the course of your relationship.
However, these days his well of generosity has completely dried up. Your man no longer has the need to impress you so he is not paying for your share when you go out on dates. If he does pay for things, he will insist that you choose the cheapest option.
You used to think that it was possibly a good thing that he's stingy, he doesn't like to waste money; he knows how to prioritize his needs and save funds. This might well be the case, or it could be that he's a selfish person.
3. He is controlling
At first, you probably thought his telling you what to do or what to wear was sweet. Maybe you thought that he really cares about you. After getting to know him, though, you have come to learn that it's more about him having control over you than about how much he cares for you.
Being controlling is a sign that your boyfriend is selfish. He wants things to only be his way, and he's not prepared to share the right to make decisions for you as a couple.
4. He is not good at compromising
Naturally, selfish people do not like to compromise. If they have to give up on something they want to do, it will usually become a reason to argue. The ability to compromise is a big part of being in a functional relationship.
For you both to be happy you will both need to feel that the other is willing to give up a little of what they want so that you can be happy, too.
If your boyfriend regularly refuses to compromise, then you are not being overly sensitive; you just have a boyfriend that always thinks of himself and his own desires first.
5. He is unappreciative
A man who has a selfish personality will tend to take all the things you do for him for granted. He has either been self-centered his whole life and has learned to expect other people's generosity as something he's entitled to, or you have taught him that your level of giving is normal, and he now believes it's his right. This is one of the behaviors that can be detrimental to an otherwise good relationship.
Not showing your partner the appreciation they deserve for all that they do for you will only leave them with growing resentment. Resentment over time will erode the affection you feel for your partner. Staying committed to an unappreciative and selfish boyfriend will only lead to unhappiness.
6. He loves to talk about himself
Selfish people love to talk about themselves, such as their experiences and all the things they know. You have probably spent hours listening to the stories that feature him as the star. They are unable to show any sincere interest in what others have to say.
A self absorbed person might understand that it's necessary to appear to be able to hold a two-way conversation, but they are not able to carry on the charade for very long before cutting you off and continuing with their monolog.
This can be extremely frustrating once you realize that all of your conversations will ultimately lead back to him talking about himself. You will never have a partner that will listen to you, empathize with you, or give you the support that you also need.
7. He only has a few friends
It's hard for selfish people to maintain friendships. The affection and attachment that you might have to your boyfriend mean that you are willing to overlook his perpetual selfish ways. It's easy for you to do because you only want to see the best in him. You see his potential to be a more generous person one day, and you are hoping that your relationship will last.
Friends are not this patient or optimistic about people. If they show a friend who they are, the friend will usually easily accept it, understand the type of person they are and respond by avoiding any close association with the selfish person. Also, selfish people will quickly discard anyone who can easily confront them about their behavior.
Romantic attachments don't usually play out that way. This is how even smart women end up with not-so-great partners who don't deserve them.
8. He gets defensive when you question him
If you have tried to communicate with him about his selfish habits, it will either end in an argument or with you backing down, again. When you confront him with something he has done to upset you, he will become decisive and will justify his behavior. He might even try to blame you for the offense he caused that hurt you.
Selfish people think that everything they do is reasonable and fair. When you challenge his mindset, he will resent you for it and hold it against you in the future. If you have noticed this pattern, then you must be able to admit to yourself, "My boyfriend is selfish."
9. He's insecure
You've probably noticed by now that he is insecure in certain situations. This might surprise you, because most of the time he's quite full of himself. However, if you are in social settings and there are people who are more successful/good looking/confident there, he will become timid and paranoid.
Self centered people love to be the focus of attention and will become insecure if they know that they cannot be the most admired person in the room. He could make an excuse to leave early and might try to make you responsible for his discomfort.
You might think this is because of a different issue your boyfriend has, but this is simply a sign of selfishness.
10. He's a selfish lover
How is your sex life? Does your boyfriend know everything you like and how to satisfy you? Has he even shown interest in finding out? Many girls who complain, "My boyfriend is selfish" are also referring to his sexual performance. His habit of putting himself first is not any different in the bedroom.
It's clear that his own pleasure is his focus. Other men boast of their ability to satisfy a woman, but this guy doesn't. When it comes to climaxing, it's every man for himself.
11. He would never plan a surprise for you
This is because he's always thinking only of himself. He's not the kind of guy who would take the time to think of something that you like and plan a nice surprise for you. His instinct is only to cater to his own desires. He won't see any benefit of using his money on you as it will not make him feel good. So why would he want to do that?
12. He only does nice things if there's something in it for him
In the early days, he might have bought you tickets to a show of his favorite artist and done many other things that you enjoyed. But chances are he did them because there was a benefit for him, too. These days, there are probably no tickets or dates being bought that wasn't motivated by his own pleasure.
Whenever you try to point out that he can be self centered he will promptly remind you of those times that he did something for you (that he enjoyed also). These are the hallmark behaviors of a selfish boyfriend.
It's usually loving and generous women who end up caught in a relationship with a selfish guy. It should only be after a few months or a bit longer of unbalanced giving when you'll realize your boyfriend is selfish.
Once you have established that this is what you're dealing with, you'll have to face the issue head-on. Have a serious conversation, and let him know that you are not prepared to continue contributing to a one-sided relationship.
Hopefully he will be able to accept your feelings, and you can set some ground rules so that you both feel that your relationship is fair and equally beneficial.