When cheating starts, you can never tell where or how it will end. Most people in committed relationships don't go into it with the intention to cheat. Whether cheating arises habitually or from opportunity, the consequences after the infidelity is revealed are always devastating on the faithful partner. The cycle of cheating affects the people involved deeply. The person being cheated on ends up heartbroken and the person the spouse was cheating is left feeling used and misled. The cheater is usually left with feelings of shame and the guilt of causing pain to others!
How to Escape From the Cycle of Cheating
You might feel trapped in a cycle of cheating. The thought of ending the affair may give you anxiety for many reasons; sadness, fear or loneliness. But the thought of continuing it could be worse as you become more invested in the extramarital relationship! When the affair is exposed, your spouse's life could be ruined and the damage it will cause your family will be irreversible.
Don't despair, learn how to stop cheating and it is possible to escape from this cycle and end the heartache that cheating causes.
1. Find the root cause
One of the first things you will need to understand before you begin to try to stop cheating is to discover what causes you to cheat in the first place. Once you can identify the triggers you will be able to figure out how it can be controlled. For example, if you are unfaithful because you feel unfulfilled in your marriage, then the answer is to speak to your spouse about what you can do together for you to be happy and satisfied with each other.
2. List the outcomes the cheating may lead to
It's usually when we follow the impulse to do something without thinking about the consequences, that we do things we regret later. Next time you feel the urge to pursue intimacy with someone other than your spouse, think about how it will play out. When you make a list of the possible outcomes, you will realize the extent of the damage and pain your choice will cause. Once you have thought about what your actions will lead to, it will be an easy decision to not to go through with it.
3. End your current affair
If you are currently in the midst of an affair, it is best to end it immediately. The longer you are in this extramarital relationship, the more emotionally invested both parties will become. This will only increase the hurt felt by everyone involved. The damage could be reduced or even avoided altogether if the affair has ended before the spouse finds out.
4. Be open to your partner
Be more honest and open with your partner. Let them into your inner thoughts and struggles. If you are able to share the things bothering you in life you will be able to strengthen the bond between the two of you. If there's anything that you would like your partner to do that will allow you to feel closer to each other, let them know. They will appreciate that you want to be closer to them too. This closeness will prevent you from seeking satisfaction outside of the relationship.
5. Spend more time with your partner
The longer you and your partner have been together, the more likely that quality time together won't seem as important anymore. However quality time spent together is vital to the longevity of a healthy relationship. Spending time doing interesting things and sharing your individual lives will keep you connected. This will most reduce any urge to betray the relationship.
6. Assume that your partner is watching you
If you are really struggling with how to stop cheating, just assume that your partner is watching your every move! If you pretend that your spouse can see everything you're doing and can hear every conversation you're having - you'll definitely think twice about doing anything that might cause you shame or them suspicion or pain.
7. Seek the counsel of a professional
If you have tried and failed to stop cheating in the past, then it might be a good idea to seek help from a professional. A good counselor or therapist will be able to talk with you about the root of the causes of your cheating and any other issues that are causing you to continuously be unfaithful to your significant other. If counseling works well for you, why not do joint sessions with your partner? This will help you do the work and get your relationship to a place where you are both happy and content.
8. Avoid temptation
There's no point in beating yourself up asking "why can't I stop cheating?" Do what it takes to ensure that you are in control of your behavior. Avoiding temptation will help you a lot with focusing on something important other than your excitement. Stay away from bars and nightclubs if those are the places that make it easy for you to cheat. Don't watch porn or adult movies that increase your desire and affect your ability to exercise the willpower to do the right thing.
9. Tell your best friends of your decision to stop cheating
If you have close friends who keep your infidelity secrets, tell them that you no longer want to cheat on your partner. Good friends will support your decision and hold you accountable if you try to go back on your word. Great friends will stop you from trying to cheat and will remind you of what you have to lose and the pain the cheating will cause.
10. Focus on making your relationship the perfect one for you
It's easy to get lost in thinking of all the negative things about your partner and the status of your relationship. It's no surprise you are thinking "I can't stop cheating". But the facts are that it's all about perspective. If you only see the bad, it's only the bad you will continue to see. Instead, make a real effort to improve the communication between you and your spouse. It needs two people to make an effort. f you want your relationship to thrive. Statistics show that respect is one of the most highly valued behaviors in healthy and long-lasting relationships, so make sure respect is always shown, even in your disagreements and your love will last too.
Being faithful and maintaining a healthy relationship is not an easy feat. When we expect things to come easy, the disappointment and hardship will make us think that other options or other people are the solutions. It is not. A good relationship requires work and commitment every day. Affairs can be exciting at the time but nothing can replace the loving comfort of your spouse and family. Follow these simple steps explaining how to stop cheating and begin to enjoy the peace and happiness of the life you already have.