People have claimed to be in love with someone who they might not have ever seen before. We hear girls proclaiming their love for a movie star or a guy in a boy band. This is not real love.
It's easy to believe you're in love when your heart skips a beat at the thought of the object of your affection or when you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you see them, but does this mean that it's true love? Not necessarily. They say true love is hard to find, and we can agree this is true when we see the number of single people and the break-ups that happen every day.
The question "what is true love?" has been a long-debated topic. The truth is that there is no scientific way to measure or test true love. We have done our own research and here are our findings on the feelings and qualities which indicate a person has found true love.
What Are the Qualities of True Love?
In attempting to find the answer to "what is true love?" we know that it's not a thing that we can touch or see. There are only feelings and expressions of love. Even this doesn't provide proof of true love because actions can be done insincerely or for ulterior motives. However, true love can be identified by the presence of the following qualities that are almost impossible to fake.
1. It's not a temporary feeling, but a long commitment
True love can survive the test of time. The only problem with this fact is that time has to pass. it's impossible to know this in the early stages. It's only in hindsight, looking back over the years spent together, that you can undeniably claim that you have found true love.
2. It's about compromise, selflessness, and sacrifice
This is an easier quality of true love to identify. True love gives of itself without hesitation. I have met many men who believe they're in love with their girlfriend, but ultimately the relationship fails because there's usually something they don't want to give up or compromise on. They might insist on staying out late partying with their mates or refuse to officially give up their bachelor lifestyle by proposing to their girlfriend.
If what they felt for the girl was true love, they wouldn't have hesitated in doing those things.
3. Mutual respect
Showing respect for each other is a natural demonstration of love. Respect is like a love language for men. Most men feel loved by their woman when she shows them respect. For a woman, respect is like being cherished and appreciated. All these qualities must be present for you to know that it's true love.
4. You share everything
You'll often hear people who are in love say that their beloved is their best friend. They might also have a bestie that's of the same sex, but it's usually the case that their partner is their best friend too. It's this way because of the impulse to share everything with each other, whether it's gossip from the office or new food you tried with your friends (I've even taken home leftovers of something new and delicious in my handbag so that I can share it with my partner!)
The desire to share experiences is so strong that there's no joy in experiencing amazing things without our other half.
5. Not just attracted to physical attributes but to their personality
Have you ever been with someone who you thought was gorgeous until you got to know them better and realized that they're not as attractive as you first thought? Or, have you ever known someone who didn't strike you as a hottie but once you got to know them they seemed beautiful in their own way? As they say, "beauty is only skin deep," and for better or worse the character of a person always shines through. Based on these patterns we have already experienced, when searching for the answers to "what is true love?" we know it cannot be wholly affected by physical looks. It's in their personality, in their behavior, and in their soul.
6. Growing together
A couple that truly love each other will encourage each other to grow. Even if pushing them to better themselves means that it might take them away from you, when it's true love, it's a risk you are willing to take. Chances are that the bond the couple share gives them confidence that their lover will never go too far from them anyway. They also know that they want to make a good life for themselves in the future, so anything that benefits him will also benefit her or vice versa. This is a quality of true love.
7. Understanding and forgiveness
It's inevitable that even a couple who are head over heels in love with each other will at some point upset one another. When this happens, one or both of them will make the effort to understand their beloved and what they must have been thinking or feeling to do the thing that hurt them. They will forgive their lover because they want to go back to the times they enjoyed the pleasures of being in love and not the pain. Infatuation, lust, or just a crush cannot withstand a serious betrayal or offense.
What Does True Love Feel Like?
Understanding the qualities of true love is one thing, while knowing what it feels like is another. It's not always how it's portrayed in the movies or how you imagine it to be. Many people want to know what true love feels like. Well, here are some simple examples of how you know it's true love.
Safety
Being in love makes you feel safe. Not necessarily from physical danger but from the difficulties of life. Feeling loved by someone lets you know that there's one person who will always be there for you, to defend you, to comfort you, and to support you. You'll never feel alone or vulnerable when you are with your true love.
Stability
In a world where things are rapidly changing, many things have become disposable or fleeting. When you find true love, you'll have a sense of stability. Regardless of what's happening in the outside world, you'll know that you'll always have each other. You'll take comfort in seeing the same face of the person you know will always be their true selves with you.
Strength and courage
True love gives you both courage and strength to defend your beloved and face the world. Lao Tzu famously said:
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
You will feel this way when you have found your soulmate.
You delight in their happiness
Does the thought of doing something that makes your partner happy make you feel happy too? When your other half is happy, you'll be happy too even if what's causing him to be so delighted doesn't affect you personally.
Recognition
How does true love feel to me? It feels like I'm being seen. You can compare the feeling to being in a bar full of attractive people and loud music. You'll probably disappear into the crowd of strangers. But when your true love is there, it will only be you he sees. You'll be the only person he's interested in talking to. In a room full of people, it will be as if it's only you and him. This is how true love can feel.
Acceptance
Infatuation and lust imagine the object of your affection as perfect beings. This way of thinking is an unrealistic expectation and will only lead to a disillusionment that will most likely end the love-like feelings. True lovers see their partner's flaws and choose to love them anyway. Real love accepts that you won't always see eye to eye on every subject. Arguments are few because when you truly love someone you will seek to understand their point of view instead of trying to control them and their opinions.
Summary
If you're one of the people currently asking "what is true love?" then it's important that you know its qualities. Because love is something that cannot be seen or calculated, we will only know it when we feel it. If your relationship has the characteristics described and your sweetheart makes you feel all the ways we listed here, then congratulations! You are some of the lucky few that have found true love!