"To lovers out there….
Love will always give you happiness, bitterness, sadness and sorrow. You will get that from the people you love." ‒ D Philosopher DJ Kyos.
It has happened many times that guys start using the phrase "I don't deserve you" or "you deserve better" to their girlfriends. You can interpret it in two different ways. Either he wants to break up with you in a nicer way to minimize the hurt he will cause you, or he means it as a compliment. You can't be sure unless you take a look at all the different aspects of your relationship. When you think about what it means when he says he doesn't deserve me, think about his behavior lately and try to dig a little deeper into how your relationship is going. Otherwise, the best approach is to ask him directly and accept it if he doesn't want to be with you because you do deserve better.
6 Reasons for Saying He Doesn't Deserve You
It depends on your relationship with the guy to truly understand what it means when someone says they don't deserve you. You can interpret it both positively or negatively, but you don't have to think about it too hard. Even if the guy doesn't want to be with you, you'll do fine and find someone who will love and respect you and truly deserve you. Let's take a look at some of the reasons for saying he doesn't deserve you.
1. He wants to break up in a nicer way
As I have mentioned before, it can simply mean that he wants to break up with you without being too harsh or rude. Maybe he loves you, but he is not fully invested in the relationship and feels that you deserve someone who will love you with all his heart. He cares about you, but he doesn't have deep feelings for you to go for that commitment you want from him. If he wants to break up, don't play the normal girl card or convince him that he is enough for you. Process it and try to let him go because men don't usually stay in a relationship once they have made up their mind to leave it. This breakup will hurt you, but you have to understand that you should be with someone who is emotionally and mentally invested in the relationship.
2. He has low self-esteem
Some of the guys struggle with self-esteem issues, and they think that they don't deserve an amazing woman. It's possible to boost his confidence, but sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't work. If you love him so much that you don't want to let him go, it's best to talk to a professional or go for couples therapy. Maybe you can boost his self-confidence so that you don't have to wonder about "he says he doesn't deserve me."
3. You care about him more than he cares about you
The most common reason for saying "I don't deserve you" is that your partner doesn't care about you as much as you care about him. So, what does it mean when a guy says he doesn't deserve you? It doesn't usually mean that you should be with a better man. It simply means that you deserve someone who will love you more than him and put you before everything else. He feels that he can't love you like that, and maybe he will not be able to develop strong feelings for you even in the future. That's why he thinks that it is better to let you go so that you can find someone who loves you deeply and sees a future with you.
4. He just wants to compliment you
Contrary to taking this phrase negatively, sometimes your boyfriend is just complimenting you. He has dated at least a few girls to know that he is with an amazing woman. He has finally found someone he is serious about and knows that you are the one he should spend his life with. If your relationship is going really well and you don't have any regrets about being with him, then he knows your value. This is his way of saying that he has found the right woman.
5. A misunderstanding
Lack of communication is a common cause of creating misunderstandings between couples. Before you want to resolve any misunderstandings, ask yourself these questions:
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Do I love myself and my life more in this relationship?
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How well do I know my partner?
Building a relationship with someone requires both partners to open up and share their feelings and thoughts. Men usually don't talk about things and keep holding things either because they are afraid of your response or they don't trust you enough. It doesn't apply to every man out there, but you do find yourself in this situation when your partner isn't letting you in which creates a lot of misunderstandings. At the end, he wants an easy escape, and he simply says, "I don't deserve you."
6. He is not inspired enough to be a better person for you
When a man truly loves you, he wouldn't tell you that you deserve better. He knows that you are the right woman for him. So, he will do everything in his power to be a better person for you. He will even try to stop doing things that bother you, such as smoking. But if he doesn't feel this inspiration, he will not try to change for you. He will simply say that he doesn't deserve you. In this case, don't try to convince him that he is enough for you because you will be settling for less than you deserve. Just own your value, and don't let these situations get into your head.
Don't Cling on to False Hopes
When a guy tells you that he doesn't deserve you, it could mean two things. Either he wants to break up or he is complimenting you. When he wants to break up, don't lower your standards by convincing him that he is good enough for you. Realize your own value and be with someone who wants to be a better person for you. If he means it as a praise, then he is the right guy for you because he knows your value. Remember that if your boyfriend seems distant and he is not as much invested in the relationship as you are, don't cling to false hopes. After all, you do deserve better.