Breaking up with someone you love is never easy. It's even more difficult to see them face to face after the breakup. Most of the time, you don't know how to act or what to do when you see your ex. You can't keep on pretending that your ex doesn't exist and hide. You have to move on with your life even if it hurts and you have to prepare yourself to keep your cool and be confident when you see your ex in public. Instead of creating a scene or being confused about how to act around an ex who hurt you, you have to be strong and not show them any sign of weakness. When you are prepared to handle situations like these, you can face any hardships that come your way.
9 Things to Do When You Run Into Your Ex
Here are a few things you can do when you see your ex in public to avoid getting into an unpleasant situation.
1. Be prepared
Being mentally prepared for a situation like this is the first step in controlling your emotions when you actually see your ex in public. Think about what to do when you see them. Will you ignore them and move on or will you lose your cool? What is the best way for you to keep your integrity so that you don't embarrass yourself and regret behaving in an immature way later on? Think about all the ways to deal with a possible encounter. It's better to formally greet them with confidence. Lisa Brateman, a psychotherapist and relationship expert says, "It's a matter of getting through it with integrity ‒ not for the other person but for yourself."
2. Ignore them
If you think that your wounds haven't healed yet, it's better to avoid them rather than putting yourself in an awkward situation. When you see them from a distance, avoid going near, and just move on. Avoiding the encounter altogether might be helpful when you don't want to be bothered in any way.
3. Keep cool
If you do run into your ex and you can't ignore them, stay calm. It's the best way to avoid making a scene in public. You will be hurting and angry behind that calm exterior but that is how you can show everyone that you are fine. Susan Winter, the best selling author, and relationship expert says, "Grace, warmth, and poise are always in style. It may feel like an Oscar-winning performance but you'll look good and feel good in the process." Keep up your strength and control your anger to maintain your reputation in public.
4. Be polite
Being rude will not solve any problems. As hard as it may seem to be polite when you see your ex, it's better than losing control and let emotions overcome you. If your ex sees you, just try to stay calm, smile a little, and greet them nicely. Treat your ex politely like you would treat any other person in public.
5. Act natural
If you see your ex with someone new, don't be jealous and stay calm. You don't have to go above and beyond to look happy or too friendly like nothing happened. It's not humanly possible. But what's possible for you is to be confident and act natural (not in a negative way). Just greet them and keep the conversation general. Ask about how they are doing and answer their questions briefly. Being a mature adult would help you in handling this situation in a much better way.
6. Keep the conversation short
When you do see your ex, keep the conversation polite and brief. You don't need to stay longer. Keep the conversation casual after greeting and introducing the other person if you are with someone. You can ask how they are doing. After asking general questions like these and answering their questions briefly, simply make an excuse that you are busy or you need to be somewhere. This way you can avoid this awkward situation without feeling bad.
7. Avoid saying bad things
Controlling your anger might seem like the most difficult thing to do when you see your ex but venting out in public or among mutual friends is not a good idea. It won't harm your ex as much as it will make you look bad. Don't say bad things about your ex to mutual friends because nobody wants to be in a situation where they have to choose sides. Being respectful is the only way you can avoid further conflict.
8. Don't bring up the past
Nothing would hurt more than bringing up the past or blaming the other person for the breakup. Avoid talking to your ex about the relationship you had and your feelings. Showing your hurt or resentment wouldn't solve any problems. It will make the situation worse. Instead, focus on the current topics like studies, work, friends, or anything trending on TV. If closure is important for you, schedule a meeting with your ex. Behave in a mature way when you bring up the past and talk about what went wrong. Don't make this meeting into something you'll regret later.
9. Be respectful
No matter how bad your ex hurt you, don't be rude or show off that you are doing better without them. It's even worse to flirt with someone else in front of your ex to make them jealous. Bragging about your new relationship or showing off that you are with someone new is very rude. At least, you can respect the good bits of your past relationship and not bring up the things that went wrong.
Focus on Self-Care
It's stressful to see your ex in public and you can get confused about what to do when you see them. Confusion, sadness, and anger are natural if you are not prepared for this accidental encounter. That's why it's important to prepare yourself for such a situation. As much as you want to vent out, staying calm and confident will help you get through this awkward situation with dignity. At the end of the day, you have to take control of your life and your emotions. Focus on taking care of yourself and other positive things in your life. You will feel much better.