For the most part, women tend to believe that romantic relationships are supposed to be the way it is in the movies. It's so annoying that writers keep portraying relationships in a cliche, unrealistic, and overly feminine way.
As a result of these dramatic displays of love we see on screen, we now expect our men to stand outside our bedroom windows with a rose in their teeth and their arms outstretched towards us.
Many of us are confused because our men are not playing their part in the fairytale we've created in our minds. In reality, the way men demonstrate their love is simple and very different from the way women imagine it should be.
To understand men better, we need to begin to ask ourselves this: How do guys express their love in real life?
The Simple but Meaningful Phrase "I Love You."
Guys are not like girls. After a fun day hanging out, girls can easily say, "Bye sweetie. Love you!" However, guys seldom speak this way.
A genuine way a man will express his love is by looking into your eyes and saying, "I love you". It's the simplest way, but for them the most meaningful way, too.
Public Display of Affection
Granted, for some guys, being affectionate in public is not an uncomfortable act. They're quite happy to kiss and touch their date in all the ways they're allowed to. But for many guys, PDA challenges the hard exterior of their manliness.
Therefore, allowing themselves to let down their guard and not care what other people think is a real testament to their love for you. So PDA can be considered to be one way how men show love and affection to their significant others.
Self Sacrifice
A man who loves his woman will be willing to sacrifice his own desires to make her happy. He will happily give up his bachelor lifestyle to do things as a couple.
Sacrificing things for the person you love doesn't mean disregarding your own emotional needs or self-worth. However, the sacrifice of our time can be one of the most meaningful things we can do for our partners.
If your boyfriend sacrifices his time for your weekly date nights or still goes furniture shopping with you, then this is his way of showing you his love.
Attention and Affection
From experience, I know that when my husband's in a lovey-dovey mood, I will get all of his attention and affection. Getting your boyfriend to focus on you and initiate cuddles and kisses is not a big deal at the beginning of a new romantic relationship.
After 20+ years, however, this is a clear expression of his love. It means more now than it did at the beginning of the relationship.
Carefully Thought Out Gifts
This is one of the love languages shared by both sexes. Like us, many men find it easier to express their love by giving gifts rather than finding the right words to embody how they feel.
These thoughtful presents, which are selected out of love, demonstrate that they have spent time thinking of you and that they are aware of what you like and need.
He Enjoys Listening to You
Some guys show they like you by spending time with you, but will spend most of the time talking about themselves. You might think kind of guy loves you, but he probably loves himself more! How do men show love? True love is displayed by listening to your partner, not by talking.
A man who loves you will enjoy listening to your pointless little stories about the weird girl at work. He'll listen sympathetically when you complain about your mum criticizing you, and he'll stay patient when you tell him again about the hairstyle you're not sure will suit you. This is a way that he expresses his love for you.
He Cooks Meals for You
Whether or not he considers himself a master chef or decent cereal maker, a man in love will want to cook for you at least one time. Some people believe that food is another language of love (I think it's Italians who passionately love food). So it's a natural instinct to prepare food for your beloved.
If your date offers to cook for you on more than one occasion, he is trying to tell you he loves you.
He's There When You Need Him
How do guys express their love? One of the ways you should feel loved is when your partner does his best to help you when you need him. Obviously there'll be times that he can't be available to you (if he's stuck in a meeting or something important, for example), but if he can be with you, he definitely will be.
A guy who loves you will make it clear that you are his priority. You'll also be able to see that it's important for him that he's able to be there for you when you're in need.
In those times of need when he does show up, I must confess that it does kind of feel like you're in a movie, and your knight in shining armour has come to you in your moment of distress. So I guess writers are not that far off, and life can imitate art after all, at times.
He Wants to Be Your Hero
Along with being there when you need him, a man who loves a woman wants to be her hero. He wants to be the one to save her from spiders, car problems, and jars with tight lids. Also, it's a way of showing their love and making themselves feel super masculine.
When I've become overwhelmed by a messy kitchen and piles of laundry, I really feel loved and I believe my husband is my hero when he helps me with the housework. He has earned the nickname "Mr. Muscle" (the name of my favorite brand of cleaning products), and I shower him with compliments, praise, and admiration. On those days, everyone feels loved.
He Plans for Your Future
Relationship experts say that the reason why men's behavior changes after they fall in love is that, psychologically, they go from basking in the delight of their new love to understanding the responsibility of providing for their lover.
Men's instinct to create and provide for a life together is how men show love to their women. It doesn't feel very loving, because your man now seems to be distracted and not as easy going as he used to be. But he is now a man with financial and emotional responsibilities that he gladly takes on because he loves you.
Summary
As much as we all love a good rom-com, it's important that we're able to understand that the way men express their love in real life is different from how it is in the movies. They might not sing for us or talk about how fast their heartbeats whenever they're near us, but they will show their love in more practical ways.
The truth is that, in life, men might not express their love in the ways we want them to, but they'll certainly show it in the ways we need them to.