He's asked you out on a date, and you've said yes. On paper he seems like a great guy, but how do you know that your first impression of him was not just for show? It's almost impossible to know who someone really is when you first meet them. Men will always paint a picture that they'd like the world to see.
It's important that the person you date wants the same things that you do. Otherwise, someone might end up getting hurt. Before getting in too deep, make sure you ask the right questions so that you can learn more about who your potential partner is and what he wants out of life.
10 Revealing Questions to Ask Before Dating
Don't wait until later in the relationship to learn about the most significant things about your date. Make sure that the guy you like is actually compatible with you by asking him the right questions.
To help you do this, we have compiled a list of meaningful and revealing questions to ask before dating someone that will let you know if you are right for each other or if you should walk away while it's still easy for you to do so.
1. What dream are you pursuing?
This is an important question to ask someone you might share life or many years with. It will reveal whether they are ambitious, focused, and optimistic enough to create a good future for themselves. If they are, they will be able to answer the question easily and you should be able to tell that they have spent a lot of time not only thinking about it, but planning how they will achieve their dream.
If they struggle to answer or appear to have never thought about it before, you should be concerned about their ability to provide or contribute to your life together.
2. Why did your last relationship end?
The answer to this question will give you insight into the problems you might also face with this guy. The first thing you will learn about him by asking this kind of question is how honest he is. If he acts shifty or finds it difficult to find the words to explain how his last relationship ended, he might be trying to think of a way of not answering you directly.
This is a red flag that his last relationship ended badly because of his behavior. But if he can give you a straightforward and reasonable answer, then you'll know you've got a good guy there.
3. How do you think your friends would describe you?
This should be one of your trick questions to ask a guy before dating him. It's a trick question, because you'll seem to be asking what his friends think about him, but what you're really asking him is what type of person he is.
You want to hear something like this: "They think I'm funny, loyal, kind, and easy-going." These are the traits you'll both need to depend on when the relationship goes through inevitable challenging times.
4. What star sign are yours?
Lots of people don't believe that zodiac signs have any real relevance. But for the most part, it can be a good indication of your compatibility. It might not be an exact science, but still, many people will say that it's quite accurate.
We don't have many ways to predict the outcomes of our choices, so if we can use star signs as a guide, why not do it? Just try not to freak out if it turns out that your star signs are not compatible. Remember that there are exceptions to every rule, and real love can overcome all kinds of differences.
5. Are your parents still together?
This is another powerfully revealing question. Statistics show that children who grew up with both parents together are more likely to be able to sustain long term successful relationships themselves.
If your guy grew up with his dad around, he is more likely to stick around and be a present father in their children's lives, too.
6. Do you ever want to get married?
This leads us to the main event. Not many women date without the long term goal of marriage. Do not be afraid to ask your date if this is what he wants. It might be one of the cringiest questions to ask in a new relationship, but it's a vitally important one.
The heartache that comes with being in love with someone who will never commit to you in the way you want is a pain that you should try to avoid before the relationship gets too serious.
7. Do you want to have children?
Naturally, this question follows the previous one. The answer to whether or not your date wants children is a dealbreaker. There's really no compromise for this preference; you either want kids or you don't. There's no middle ground.
People who didn't ask this question early in their relationship can assure you that no amount of puppies can fill the void of a woman that always dreamt of having children of her own one day.
If you feel awkward asking this question because you don't want to scare him away, you can ask questions like these: "Do you have siblings?" or, "Do any of your friends have kids?" These are leading questions that might get him to reveal for himself if he wants kids without you asking him directly.
8. What's your love language?
This is one of the most important questions to ask before dating someone. It lets you know what will fulfill him in a serious relationship.
"There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner's and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship." - Dr. Gary Chapman, "The Five Love Languages".
This information will also reveal how compatible you are. If his love language and yours are the same, it will be easier for you to make each other happy and feel loved.
9. If you had a hundred million dollars what would you do with it?
This might seem like just a fun question, but the way a person answers this will tell you a lot about them. Does he want fast cars and designer clothes? Or does he want to see the world and build a solid foundation for his family?
His answer will help you learn what he values in life and the kinds of choices he might make in the future.
10. Where do you see yourself in ten years?
This is perhaps a question that you'll expect to be asked in a job interview rather than on a list of questions to ask before dating. However, there is a very good reason why you should ask it.
If your date has an issue with commitment, you will be able to tell by the way he responds. 10 years is a long enough time to understand whether he sees himself settled down and established in his career or if he still sees himself attachment-free and backpacking across the globe! Which is not a bad thing, if that's what you want, too.
Summary
It's always good to enter any situation with as much information as possible. Trying to find out if you are compatible with your partner before committing to them is the wise thing to do. Taking a look before you leap is good, but using caution cannot protect you against heartbreak.
Remember that first impressions can be deceiving so, ultimately, when choosing your partner, you should always follow your heart.