We all want the perfect marriage where there is mutual love and support. Maybe everything seems like a dream before the marriage, but somewhere along the way, your husband's behavior changes. Even if you give your all in the relationship, your husband seems not to care.
Does this seem familiar to you? At some point during your relationship, your partner may have changed from "caring husband" to "selfish husband," and you don't even realize when. If you are still in denial, here are some examples of a selfish husband that you need to keep in mind.
His Own Needs Always Come First
In an ideal marriage, your needs will also be the needs of your partner and vice-versa. Remember that time before you were married, when he ordered vegan food simply because he did not want to make you feel excluded? Or when he watched that sappy romance movie with you, even though he hated it, just because he knew you liked it.
Now, however, the only things that seem to matter to him are his own needs. He is aware that you are struggling with something, but at the same time, he does not lift a finger to help you. No matter if we are talking about financial, emotional, or romantic needs, he comes first and what's important to you matters little.
This can involve everyday things, but also major life events. He chooses the restaurant, even though he knows you want to eat something different. Or maybe he chooses the vacation spot, although it is the last place you want to go to. His concern is to make himself feel good, throwing you in complete disregard.
He Doesn't Know Your Favorites or Hobbies
While there is nothing wrong with having different hobbies in comparison to your significant other, they should know what you are interested in. Sure, they might not want to get involved in your talks about celebrities, makeup, and shopping (that's what your best friend is for), but he should still listen.
However, an inconsiderate husband will have no interest in whatever you like to do. Sure, he has some of the information down, but he doesn't really care much about your hobbies. For example, he is not aware of your passion for music or books, and he is not able to even name one of your favorite bands or authors. He finds no relevance in anything that concerns you or the things that bring you joy.
He Is Selfish in Bed
Before you got married, you probably noticed how your partner was considering your every need in bed. He was always going the extra mile, following your rhythms, and making sure that the person he was making love with would also feel pleasure. He would not leave the bed until you reached your own point of climax.
On the other hand, among the examples of a selfish husband, we have the guy that doesn't really care about whether your needs in bed are met or not. This guy does not put in any effort in particular to please you, and all he cares about is his own satisfaction. When he's done, he's out, and he doesn't care if you climaxed as well or not.
This guy ignores your attempts at intimacy but pushes you into sleeping with him when he's in the mood for it. He is no longer gentle, and he does not give your propositions a shot. His comfort and pleasure are more important to him than yours.
He Doesn't Compliment You
As a lady, you probably put quite a lot of effort into the way you look just so that you are acknowledged by your significant other. Just a simple "you look gorgeous" makes your day and shows you that you still bring some awe in his heart. However, if your husband is selfish, he won't even notice when you get a haircut or a new dress. If he does, he'll probably criticize you for spending the money.
You Are to Blame for Everything
One more sign that your husband is selfish lies in the fact that he doesn't take any blame for the things that he does or says. Regardless of what happens between you two, you are always the one at fault.
For example, let's say that a couple is fighting and the husband is taking the blame for making his significant other feel hurt. With that in mind, he will still try to find ways to put the blame on her – to make her think that she is the one responsible for his actions. She made him do it, she overreacted, she provoked him, and she was the one that drove him to insanity.
He No Longer Helps With Household Chores
When you were only dating your husband and possibly moved in with him, you probably noticed how careful he was to help you out. He'd do the dishes, help you take out the trash, even vacuum clean the entire house now and again.
Now, he treats you more like a servant, leaving you with all the household chores. On a daily basis, you both come from work, but you are still the one responsible for cooking or doing the dishes. This guy has you constantly doing favors while he's not doing anything to help you out.
He Avoids Communicating With You
If you want a relationship to succeed, then you need to openly communicate with your significant other. Some men can be introverts. They want to communicate, but do not know how to do it. However, that is not necessarily the case.
This guy knows how to communicate. He proved to you various times that he has no problem talking, and that when he wants to get an idea across, he does so without an issue. He just doesn't want to.
If you are fighting one day, he will simply refuse to come to you and solve the problem. And because of this, you can't share your worries and concerns with him.
He No Longer Shows Appreciation
While we aren't saying that your husband should be kissing your boot for everything that you do for him and your marriage, he should still show his appreciation. Marriage should be all about mutual appreciation and giving, which means that none of the partners should be taken for granted.
However, your husband does not appreciate any sacrifices that you are making for this marriage. For example, if you pulled an all-nighter to fix his favorite shirt (one that he ruined), he won't even say thank you for what you did for him.
He believes that everything you do should be natural, and he pretends not to even notice all your efforts. What's worse, aside from not exhibiting appreciation, this guy doesn't do anything to reciprocate it either.
The Bottom Line
There are numerous examples of a selfish husband, but in most cases, it boils down to him putting the focus on himself rather than on you. If you notice that he no longer pays you any attention and doesn't care for your needs, it's a clear sign that he is quite selfish.