Even with all the technological advancements man has achieved in these modern times, we still have not figured out a specific way to find true love. If only there was a scientific formula we could use to find our soulmate.
Alas, we humans are far too complex for such a simple solution. The fact is that no one really knows why it is so hard to find love that is real, meaningful, and long-lasting.
What we do know is that there are some mindsets and behaviors that can certainly make true love even more elusive to us. Below are a few of the reasons love is so hard to find.
You Don't Know What You Really Want
Your first reaction to this point might be "I know what I want, I want to find love." But there's more to finding love than simply longing for it. Knowing what you want means being able to identify the kind of love (and the type of person) that you want.
If you know you want a kind, gentle, patient guy, you have to make sure those are the qualities you look for first. You can't keep being attracted to rebellious bad boys who are not the kind, gentle type and being disappointed that they couldn't commit to loving you back.
Your Attitude Towards the Relationship
"You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." Have you ever heard that saying?
Let's imagine that men are the flies in this saying. Is your attitude the honey or the vinegar? If your attitude is more like the latter opposed to the former, you will always wonder, "Why is it hard to find love?" It really is that straightforward.
I know the fairytales say that your prince charming will slay the dragon and chop down the thorny vines surrounding the bed in which you lay, but this never happens in real life. If your attitude makes it difficult for a man to get close to you, finding true love will always elude you.
Fear of Being Hurt
Holding on to negative emotions from the past will negatively affect your future. Anger, hurt, and fear are all a state of mind that will not allow new love to come into your life. These feelings build a wall around you, in a way.
Not many men will have what it takes to get past this wall to see who you really are. To allow love to find you, you must let go of the fear of being hurt as you were in the past.
No One Meets Your Standard
Point 1 is not your issue -you know who your ideal man is and exactly the kinds of qualities you wish him to have. However, it's possible that what you want is not realistic. If you're saving yourself for a tall, handsome, rich, generous, attentive, and funny man, you might be waiting forever.
Perhaps you have set your standards too high. Generally, men that are rich are busy doing what it takes to stay rich! They won't have the time to give you all the attention you desire.
It's not that you have to lower your standards, but this might be why it is so hard to find love. The higher your standards are, the lower your chances are of finding someone who fulfills your specific requirements.
You're Too Busy
There are many lonely people out there complaining about being single. They would love to find someone to share their life with, but when you ask them what they're actively doing to find the love they'll start explaining to you that because of work or studies (or hermit behavior), they haven't actually done anything to make themselves available for love to come into their life.
Love won't come knocking on your door, and even if these kinds of people were to bump into someone they could potentially click with, they won't probably have the time to commit to nurturing the relationship.
Misconceptions of What True Love Is
Hollywood and Disney's movies have confused several generations of girls (and guys) as to what love looks like. We now expect to lock eyes with someone across the room and know instantly that we want to spend our lives together. Ladies frequently say that they want butterflies, romance, and passion.
However, the truth is that a lot of the time, long-lasting love doesn't start out that way. Love that can stand the test of time often comes from where (and whom) you least expect it. It grows gradually; the deep connection develops slowly, like a polaroid picture that takes form before your eyes.
So, to answer the question, "Why is love so hard to find?" is difficult, b many people don't even know what it really looks like.
You Are Shallow
This is not like having high standards. Being shallow means you only care about superficial things. Choosing to only entertain suitors who are good looking, outgoing, drive the right cars, and wear the right clothes is a recipe for, well, not much.
These meaningless outward displays are not a good basis on which to build a relationship. Love has to be based on substance. Shared interests, backgrounds, or knowing the depths of who a person is are the conditions that allow real love to grow.
You Believe It's Supposed to Be Easy
We see an old couple that has probably been together for several decades and we long for that kind of love. But did you ever stop to consider what they must have been through? What trials and challenges have they faced as individuals and as a couple?
Relationships are not always a walk in the park. It requires self-discipline to not use our partners as our emotional punching bags. It takes patience to accept our partners' phases of self-development. It takes strength to separate ourselves and carve out our own happiness, relieving our partners from being our only source of joy.
Many young people do not have the characteristics it takes to keep a healthy relationship alive.
Fear of Commitment to a Relationship
This point is a common answer to, "Why is it so hard to find love?" In this day and age, apps provide us with easy access to available members of the opposite sex. We can simply swipe right for a date for the night. Why commit to one person when you can be with a new person every night of the week if you so wish?
The fear of being stuck with one girl and no longer having the options of variety may be the reason that men are not able to find love.
You Give up Too Easily
It's possible that you've already come across someone you could fall in love with, but something went wrong. Maybe you doubted the person was the one. Or maybe there was a problem that kept you from letting the person know how you felt.
No human being is perfect. Most of us will have found someone we liked enough to have fallen in love with, but for one reason or another, we decided that the person's lack of perfection meant that love with them wasn't on the cards, so we gave up.
It's sad to imagine how many love stories ended this way.
Summary
Although real love seems to be elusive, it is out there. If you want to find love, get rid of your fear and negative attitude and beliefs that make love impossible. Be bold and seize the chance to grab love if it appears.
Try your best to be the kind of person deserving of love, and work on yourself so that you'll be able to love in a healthy way in return. This is the best way to ensure that we all have our chance to be one of those old couples who've been with their beloved for years and years.