Deep down in your date's heart is great hidden pain. You cannot see it, but you feel it every time they push you away, when they question almost everything you say, and when they are distant in your presence. Maybe you didn't know from the start that you're dating a man with a broken heart, or a woman who is suffering emotionally. What you can do from now on is try to understand what they're going through and act accordingly. Here are a few aspects you should pay attention to and ways in which you can adapt to make it work.
1. Deal with their lack of trust
Lack of trust is one of the characteristics of a broken person. Trust isn't easy to attain in the first place, and it's even more challenging to earn when you are dating a person with a broken heart. Based on past events, they fear they will get hurt again. That's why they are reluctant when it comes to letting you in and could behave in a controlling way.
What to do: If you think this person is worth it, then prepare to be patient. Always be transparent about what you are doing and who you are doing it with. More specifically, be as open and honest as you can be. Make sure you keep your promises and show them that you are reliable and trustworthy. However, let this person control you.
2. Don't expect a second chance
Dating a person with a broken heart is challenging because they will not give you a second chance. Depending on how deeply the last relationship influenced them, they will not tolerate any lies, any shady behavior, or anything they are not comfortable with. In the presence of any red flags, they will become very protective of themselves and push you away.
What to do: Second chances are almost taken for granted these days. We allow ourselves to do stupid things without giving much thought to them. Well, in the case of a broken-hearted person, you can't afford to mess things up. So if you genuinely want to break their protective wall, make sure you're extra careful. Don't lie, don't patronize them, keep your promises, offer your undivided attention, and be open.
3. Cultivate your relationship slowly
Understanding a broken man or woman takes time. In most cases, they don't even think about the future because of their constant fear of getting hurt. Or, when they start to catch feelings and do think about what lies ahead, they get scared and try to sabotage the relationship.
What to do: If you want to grow together and think this person is worth your efforts, then try to deal with their insecurities and irrational fears when they occur. Don't push them to make the relationship official unless they are ready for it. Take your time to get to know each other and overcome obstacles together.
4. Be prepared to be pushed away
When you are dating a man with a broken heart, sometimes you have to face rejection. The same goes for women. Such emotional trauma causes anxiety and depression, and sometimes they're better off alone. That's why they will tend to push you away, as well as their friends and even family.
What to do: When you're pushed away, don't take it personally. Their fears and insecurities are not directly related to you, but to what happened to them in the past. What you can do is have patience, be warm, express your feelings sincerely and show them you'll stick around for when they feel better.
5. Improve their self-esteem and self-confidence
Other characteristics of a broken person are low self-esteem and self-confidence. If they were in an abusive relationship and were constantly criticized and put down, it's only natural for them to have hit rock bottom. Having someone repeatedly say negative things to you, blame you, call you names is devastating for one's self-esteem and self-confidence. They find it suspicious and hard to believe that you are genuinely interested in them.
What to do: To boost someone's confidence, you can pay them compliments. You can make a remark about this person's physique, personality, or anything else you can think of. Don't miss any chance to say that you appreciate whatever they did. Also, don't underestimate the power of reassurance. Keep telling them the same loving things, and they will end up believing you eventually.
6. Don't push your way into their private life
By private life, we mean their friends, family, and even the place where they live. If they don't think you'll stick around because they've just met you and don't trust you yet, they will try to keep you away from the people who matter to them, as well as from their safe place.
What to do: Patience is required in all aspects, including this point. There's no reason to rush things and push your way into this person's private life. If everything goes well between the two of you, you will have many opportunities to meet the people dear to them. Also, don't try to invade their safe place. You can break the ice and invite them over when you feel ready. However, don't expect the same in return.
7. Be prepared to compromise more
Understanding a broken man or woman is consuming because they are not willing to compromise. They may have made too many compromises in their past relationship, so reverse psychology takes effect. What they need now is to focus on themselves. Sometimes, they may seem a little selfish or stubborn at first, but over time this could change.
What to do: Patience is once more required in this situation, as well as a very objective train of thought. Instead of getting upset, realize that they may need more time to adjust. You will have to find a sort of middle ground until they are ready to do the same.
Summary
Emotionally unstable and broken-hearted people deserve our love too. They need warmth, honesty, and stability, which you can provide if your feelings are sincere. Arm yourself with patience and an understanding attitude as you try to make things work.