Let's say you met the love of your life. You started planning the rest of your life together, but then one day, everything changed. You weren't sure quite when, but the feeling was suddenly gone.
For some reason, you just didn't feel the same love you did. All those good memories were just that – good times from the past. Maybe you were starting to think, "I don't love my boyfriend anymore."
We can't always control our hearts, and falling out of love isn't necessarily anyone's fault. But it could be that you need to move on. If you're wondering, here are ten signs you might be falling out of love.
1. You pick fights about trivial things just to find excuses to leave
Couples fight about a lot of things – some important and some trivial. If you find they are always trivial, you might need to examine where these feelings are coming from. Often we look for excuses for a fight when there are deeper underlying issues. It's not really about what the argument du jour is; that's just our rage coming out.
If you argue about petty things all the time, it could be that you simply are not happy in the company of your boyfriend anymore, and stirring things up is just a way to put some distance between the two of you. Maybe you're trying to encourage him to leave.
2. You make plans for the future that doesn't involve him
Girls like to plan their futures. Having structure is motivational and can give you a sense of calm. But if you're in a relationship, the norm is to plan that future with your partner. If you find dreams of living your best life specifically do not include your boyfriend, it's usually an omen that your love for him is dying out. It might be time to say "I don't love him anymore" and accept your future plans have no place for him.
3. You enjoy individual space more
Remember when you couldn't get enough of your guy and wanted to spend every waking moment with him? If you weren't together, you were eagerly planning for the next time you would be. No? That's not a good sign for the relationship.
If you find yourself anticipating the time you won't be together, it may be time to leave him. Maybe you're finding reasons to be alone because you don't want to be with him, but you feel guilty saying so.
Well, you can't help how you feel. He may be a perfectly nice guy, but if your heart isn't in it, it may be best to go. And it might be best for him, too. In the long run, you may do him a favor by freeing him to find someone that can love him like you think he deserves.
4. You spend more time on the phone than on communicating
Sometimes your actions alone can say "I don't like my boyfriend anymore" far more than any of your words ever will. In fact, silence can be deafening. Are you finding that your alone time is usually spent with you hunched over your phone instead of talking to your guy? Maybe you just can't think of anything you want to say to him. Maybe you are tired of talking because you never like his answers.
Whatever the cause, if you find your phone more interesting than him, things are not going well; your feelings and love for him are clearly waning.
5. Your fights are about morals
Couples fight. That is unavoidable. When you're in a relationship you won't always agree. Sometimes you'll even disagree heatedly. But what you disagree about can be more important than how often you disagree. There are lots of things you can let slide – picking what to eat for dinner, deciding what TV show to watch, or even how to spend a Sunday afternoon.
But there are some things you can't and won't compromise on – like your morals. Some things relationships won't survive, and if you and your guy can't agree on the basics of what is right and wrong, your relationship is heading nowhere good.
6. You become impatient about his flaws
Your guy was never perfect. You probably thought he was when you first started dating. That's the magic of love – it can bury our partner's flaws and make them seem like just the perfect guy. When the intoxication of love is gone, though, we may notice our partner's every flaw and be annoyed to death by them.
Yes, he might have changed over the last few years. Odds are, though, that you're just falling out of love and seeing him in a less idealized light than before.
7. You lie to decrease the time with him
Are you starting to make up lies to avoid doing things with your boyfriend? It's probably safe to say "I don't love him anymore" if you find yourself doing this. Not only are you creating ways to be away from him, but you're also lying.
To be fair, you're likely lying to spare his feelings. It's a natural human action. But you are lying, and that's not something to build love and a relationship on. If you want away from him that bad, maybe you should consider making it permanent.
8. You feel emotionally drained
Emotions are exhausting. This is especially true when you're trying to express something that just isn't there anymore. If you feel you are almost always acting when you say "I love you", then staying with your boyfriend is doing neither of you a favor. As long as you make yourself live in a lie, you won't be able to shake that drained feeling.
9. You no longer prioritize your boyfriend
It's normal to put your partner first in a relationship. After all, if it's a good relationship, he's doing the same for you. Thus, you're taking care of each other. But if you're falling out of love, you'll increasingly find that you start worrying about yourself first. Sure, you may still care about him - but he's stopped being your top concern.
10. You miss being single
If your single days start looking like your brightest days, you've got a problem, and it's likely to be the guy you with. In a healthy relationship, both of you should inspire each other to better yourselves. If you are starting to think being alone is preferable, it's probably time to hang up any hopes you might have had for lasting love with this one.
Time to Move On
No matter how hard you try, sometimes things just can't work out in a relationship. It could be as simple as bad chemistry. Whatever the reason, just remember that it is alright to move on. In fact, if you like the guy, it's in his best interest for you to let him go. So do right by yourself, and let yourself move on if you need to. It's okay to let yourself say, "I don't love him anymore."