Many girls find themselves describing their boyfriends as unromantic. They don't realize that romance is not the only factor in a relationship, and they can still thrive as a couple if they handle it well. In most cases, such relationships are propagated on planning and practicality because they possess their set of desirable virtues.
There are ways a girl can deal with an unromantic boyfriend by adding spice to the relationship. When approaching him, you must be clear that you don't suspect he does not love just because he is not romantic. You need to put in extra effort if you wish to have a happy relationship. Here are a few tips to help you cope if you are in the "my boyfriend isn't romantic" category.
Does He Love Me If My Boyfriend Isn't Romantic
Being unromantic does not mean he doesn't love you. He certainly has some desirable qualities, that is why you are in a relationship with him. It only means that outstanding romantic gestures are not a part of his nature. Looking internally concerning what you can change is more effective than lamenting that he is not the guy you intended to have in your life.
1. Tell him what you want
Communication! Communication! Communication! There is no harm in letting him know what you wish him to do for you once in a while. In fact, there is no such thing as "my boyfriend is not romantic at all!" Most men are poor mind readers, and it might be difficult for them to think of flowers or even candle-lit dinners. Do not keep your thoughts to yourself because the unexpressed feelings can lead to an explosive fight in your relationship later.
2. Never push him
Nagging a guy you love is never a good idea. Lack of romance does not imply a lack of affection. Pushing him to engage in PDAs is not going to make him romantic. Instead, it will push him away because you make him feel inadequate for satisfying your emotional needs. Accept him as he is and lead him to romance.
3. Learn his unique romantic language
What if your boyfriend isn't romantic but shows his affection in different ways? It might be other small acts that you don't even realize. Maybe he knows how to text using the right words. Maybe he cooks a homemade meal for you whenever you are around.
If he listens to your funny or poignant talks without getting irritated and advises you, he cares for you. It does not have to be a bouquet of daisies or a personalized poem, but there are small deeds that bring joy to you around him.
4. Don't compare him with any other men
Comparing him with other guys means you are not comfortable with the way he shows love to you. It means there is somebody out there better than him. You end up hurting his ego. Different guys exhibit love differently. It is the ultimate level of disrespect a guy can get!
Just lead him to what you want. Find a way of making him know what you want him to do for you without comparing him to others. You could use, "Honey, it would make me happy if you did for me this."
5. Adjust your expectations
You have probably raised the bar so high for him and not seeing the little things he does to make you happy. Maybe you have watched so many soap operas that you expect a replica of the romance you see in them. He may take long to comprehend your meaning of romance. In the meantime, appreciate the little efforts he is making to bring happiness in your relationship.
6. Do romantic things for him
It could be a simple homemade candle-lit dinner. It could be taking him out to a favorite café for his favorite dish. Better still, get a recipe book and challenge him for a cook-off! Do things for him that show you love and care about him. Rent a romantic movie and watch it together. Spice it up with a bottle of wine! Look into his eyes (but do not stare) and say romantic things to him. Romance is about doing things that bring joy to both of you.
7. Appreciate his little progress
He has brought you chocolate after work. Something he never used to do! The other day he brought you flowers. Be patient with him. He will slowly fit into the romantic guy you have in your mind. He has seen the light… he is beginning to get a glimpse of the things that make you feel special and loved but needs encouragement. Just show him you appreciate it, and you like what he does for you. He will have no choice but to step up.
8. Get time to partake in his favorite activities
You can create a romantic environment with your unromantic boyfriend irrespective of the activities you engage in. If he realizes that you are willing to do some activities to make him happy, he will gladly do the same for you.
You may hate sports, but you can accompany him to a football game if that is what he enjoys. With time, he will stop looking for excuses when you want him to do stuff for you. He will start enjoying spending time with you, and he will slowly know the things that make you happy; hence, adding the spice of romance in your relationship!
9. Surprise lunch dates at his workplace
Do unto your boyfriend what you would love him to do for you! You can consider dropping in unexpectedly at your boyfriend's workplace and take him for a surprise lunch date. You can try out a new restaurant with him or opt for the familiar dish at his favorite joint. It shows him you have been thinking of him.
Remember to wear something sassy but decent that will linger in his memory once he goes back to work. He would definitely want to reciprocate the gesture at home thus adding the romance factor.
It Is Not A Show… It Is About Affection
Romance is about the small gestures that display love while cementing your bond with your boyfriend. Do not place a premium on it. Just constantly complaining about "my boyfriend isn't romantic" would not work. If you can show your boyfriend how to be romantic, it's better for your relationship. True connection is about two partners who desire to be together and support each other in becoming better persons… and lovers!